We Keep Weird Hours and I Should Be the Size of a Cadillac

We grocery shop at midnight and eat dinner between the hours of 11 pm and 1 pm. So is the life of a valet and a gal in retail that live together...

When I was twelve and used to play "pretend future" with my neighbor Stacey (in our fantasy lives she married Johnny Depp and I married Axel Rose), it never involved the schedule that at 33, is my reality. I work anywhere between the hours of 7am and 11pm, 5 days a week, Sunday through Saturday. I also go to school full time (It's all online and if you're the person that says "Online school is fake school," you have NEVER tried an online class. They are not for the lazy or unmotivated). I also sprinkle in being a mom to a teenage boy (He is the LEAST of my problems. 3.95 GPA, stays out of trouble, and is just a really cool kid) and being a live-in girlfriend to a 38 year old sports enthusiast who has an obsession with baseball, football, old school hip-hop, Red Bull, and Jameson. (His obsession with me pretty much ended as soon as we started dating). All of this being said, we keep odd business hours.

Example: Tuesday. I worked from 1pm until about 10pm. He generally goes into work around 4pm and comes home anywhere from 10pm to midnight. Tuesday he came home around 10:30pm. No matter how tired I am or what time I have to work the next day, I stay up to have dinner with him when he gets home. I should probably let you know that the main reason for this is that I. Don't. Cook. Ever. Nothing at all. It's because I mess up everything I try to cook, including frozen pizza. (I'll review the stories of my cooking attempts in a future post.) So, if I want to eat dinner, I have to wait for Ian to come home and cook it for me. And cook he does! It's his hobby and his way of "decompressing" after work. He is always trying something new and has every gadget imaginable in the kitchen. So Tuesday, at 10:30pm, he began dinner for the evening.This consisted of twice baked potatoes, steamed broccoli, and steak. Which means I ate this small plate of heaven at 11:30pm. Since we were still recovering from the weekend (we enjoy adult beverages in our spare time and especially on the weekends), we were in bed at 12:30. And this is how I live every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I eat a large meal and then go to bed. I should be the size of a beluga whale and bad knees at that rate. I'm afraid that one morning I'm going to wake up and my body will have finally said "Fuck off Bree!" and I won't be able to wear pants with zippers anymore. So the rest of my days are spent eating in moderation (boo!), choosing healthier food options (ugh), and getting in Power Yoga and runs with our dog (Bijou). Sometimes it feels like a huge chunk of my life is being spent correcting my eating and sleep habits from my Tuesday through Thursday lifestyle. And I'm not complaining. I mean, I have a boyfriend that not only does all of the cooking (and the grocery shopping), he LOVES to do all of the cooking. I AM grateful. It's just that 21 years ago, when I was a little Bree and the world seemed mine for the taking, I never thought that THIS would be my life.

And I love it!

I can't wait to share the everyday of my life with all of you. We have so much fun and laugh ALL the time (mostly at ourselves). Now I'm off to dinner number on for the evening with the loves of my life- my girlfriends.

Bree